Sick and Dirty

from by Channel 43

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oh fuck no here it comes again
i know you were my confidence
i thought you were my friend
you’re cold and callous time and time again
and i don’t know why i can’t get you the fuck out of my head

and i pressed my guts dry
digging it all out for you
i stayed down and i tried
while you did just what you always do
i never knew you were so weak
it doesn’t usually couple with evil
mother hen got in too deep
and you ran me in circles

driving west on june the first
we looked into each others’ eyes
the sun so bright that the air was yellow
two rainbows were in the sky
symbols overwhelmed us and my heart tripled in size
pulled off the highway just to hold you close
we weren’t supposed to die

what the fuck was it that made you so scared
when i know that you loved me?
how the fuck were we so unprepared?
what made leaving so enticing?
what the fuck about all the times
of tremendous headway?
and all the times that we felt the earth shake?
did you forget them already?

i need to know so i can rest
how would you feel if you were all alone?
but i know you don’t have that ability yet
in betraying me you betrayed yourself
and the values you used to boast
i was so sad watching your character decay

and you placed me all the blame
and you watched me accept it
how the fuck do you not feel ashamed
about the way that you left it?
the punishment did not fit the crime
and you continue to fuck me
so go rot away with your kind
and stay sick and stay dirty


from Hidden In Plain Sight, released October 4, 2018


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